'Wear Sunscreen: A Primer For Real Life'

“Advice, like youth, probably just wasted on the young”

On June 1^st of 1997, the ‘Chicago Tribune’ had published an article written by Mary Schmich. She described the column as a commencement speech she would give had she been asked to give one.

Back in the nineties (a decade whereby blockbuster hits were shrouded in urban legends like ‘Scream’ and ‘I Know What You Did Last Summer’), the column did not escape the clutches of the rumor mill. The urban legend was that the article had really been an MIT commencement speech given by Kurt Vonnegut in that same year. However, such an allegation was ultimately crushed by the fact that MIT’s commencement speaker that year was Kofi Annan. Despite this, the story had become a sensation by the year of 1999.

... But enough of its origins! What drew me to Schmich’s “speech” was its content. She presents simple advice like to stretch more often and to refrain from abusing your hair with too much product, interwoven with serious messages like embracing your past so you may look forward to the future.

XXX

Everybody’s Free (To Wear Sunscreen)

by Mary Schmich (re-entitled by Baz Luhrmann)

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ’99,


If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be 
it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by 
scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable 
than my own meandering 
experience…I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not 
understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. 
But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and 
recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before 
you and how fabulous you really looked….You’re not as fat as you 
imagine.

Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as 
effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing 
bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that 
never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm 
on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing everyday that scares you.

Sing.

Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with 
people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes 
you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with 
yourself.

Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you 
succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your 
life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they 
wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year 
olds I know still don’t.

Get plenty of calcium.

Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone.

Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children, maybe 
you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky 
chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…what ever you do, don’t 
congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your 
choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s.

Enjoy your body, 
use it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it, or what other people 
think of it… it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever 
own.

Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.

Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.

Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents… you never know when they’ll be gone for 
good.

Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the 
people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few you 
should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and 
lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you 
knew when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live 
in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: prices will rise, politicians will 
philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize 
that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were 
noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, 
maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one 
might run out.

Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will 
look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who 
supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of 
fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the 
ugly parts and recycling it for more than 
it’s worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.

XXX

I highlighted the parts where I loved and agreed with the most (had to hold myself back from highlighting the whole essay). I just felt the need to share this gem of an article with everyone because its bits and pieces of advice made me realize how we often forget the little things in life that contribute to the quality of it. 

There are things we often take for granted... things like looking at the big picture, for instance. Don't get me wrong, guys... I'm not trying to be a Miss Polly Preacher or anything. I just thought it would be interesting to share some stuff I've come across in the past like snide, little comments on a social network like Twitter (as an example).

I know some of you are probably groaning or rolling their eyes because you may be feeling a little "involved" in that observation. Hey, we're all guilty of it. I know I've done it before. That's what human beings do... You give us a social medium and we're like "I'VE GOT TO LET PEOPLE KNOW HOW I FEEL I'M FEELING SO SCORNED RIGHT NOW YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!!!"... maybe add a 'lol' at the end to soften the blow? Anyway, some cases go beyond passive-aggression, whereby excerpts like "Enjoy your body, 
use it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it, or what other people 
think of it… it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever 
own" becomes easier to read on paper rather than applying it in real life. This is especially so when each and every mistake made with that body of yours gets circulated within seconds on such a public forum such as the one mentioned above. The worst part? The mistakes don't even matter.

"She wore that top with those heels. Fashion no-no."

"He wore his pants so tight, they should be illegal."

"Some people just shouldn't wear plum lipstick."

When listed like that, we tend to see how trivial it sounds, right? Yet they exist because we allow our lives to revolve around that triviality. We live our lives through our screens... We take in everything through that rectangular, glowing box. Heck, we would probably see the #zombieapocalypse under 'Trending Now' should there be a sudden virus outbreak where people literally DIE IN THE STREETS... we would still see tweets like "omg there's a zombie like totes in front of me, you guys #zombieapocalypse". That's just the sad truth. 

Although, moving back to the idea of triviality... It's all about looking at the bigger picture, really. This is something I find myself struggling with everyday. I watched 'Soul Surfer' (good movie, you guys should check it out if you haven't already) the other day and had been immensely moved by the whole story. So much so I found myself Googling Bethany Hamilton (of which the movie was based upon) to find out more about her life. 

If you don't know who she is, the gist of her biography is that she was (and still is) a competitive surfer who had her arm bitten off by a shark at the age of 13. Even though the odds were against her, she fought her way back into the world of surfing as a champion just because she loved that world more than anything else. 

Imagine that, huh?

Just imagine having so much passion for something, it becomes the very thing that gets you out of bed at the crack of dawn without fail. Imagine living for something... Living for art, living for music, living for basketball, living for your dreams... Anything as long as it fuels you to keep moving forward, even if ALL the odds are against you.

Imagine the people who have that.

Then, imagine us who fill our days with comments like "some people should be told to look in the mirror once in a while" or "you're not smart enough for that line of work" or "those who have 'such and such' are jerks", etc... 

Do we get the big picture now?

"Cool, cool, cool."

 

"I've got self-esteem falling out of my butt."

- Abed Nadir, Community

I've just finished watching the latest season of 'Community' and I have to say, it has definitely risen to occupy the number one spot on my favorites list. I think it's safe to say that Harmon's show about a group of students in Greendale Community College has accomplished what 'Glee' had initially set out to achieve, which was to sell a story about underdogs to an audience. While the 'Glee' kids were singing more and more Ke$ha with each passing episode... While Rachel's skirts grew shorter to satisfy a wider scope of viewers... While the show became more about the guest stars instead of the actual plot (or lack thereof)... It became pretty apparent that it had lost it's meaning. 

What I like about 'Community' is how different each character is presented as. They are by no means, perfect. Heck, they may not even be all that appealing to most people. Lets see, you've got...

Annie Edison, the neurotic do-gooder

Jeff Winger, the insecure cynic

Britta Perry, the closet-ignoramus 

Shirley Bennet, the repressed rage monster 

Pierce Hawthorne, the lonely bigot

Troy Barnes, the airhead sidekick

As undeniably awesome as these aforementioned characters are, I would just like to talk about Abed Nadir. 

He's weird. 

He speaks in tongues barely anyone can understand (primarily references to obscure movies). 

He analyses any and every situation. 

He makes charts for no reason. 

He was even suspected to be diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome. 

Though, what I find interesting is the fact that I have an inability to call him socially awkward because he doesn't seem to think he is. He embraces each quality that makes him different from everybody else. 

He would dress up as Batman and actually investigate a crime. Why? Because he doesn't see anything wrong with it. 

In the face of humiliation inflicted by a teacher, he simply blinks and agrees to prove said teacher wrong in class the next morning.

He doesn't see anything wrong with how he chooses to live. Sure, he pretends to be different characters from different movies, but it never takes away from who he essentially is at the end of the day. As much as I laugh at the capers he gets himself into, I realize that he's one of the most inspiring characters, if not, the most inspiring character on the show. 

His ability to shrug and say "I don't care" when met with critics who ridicule or alienate him for being somewhat out of the ordinary is something that we all continue to perfect over the years.

We tend to build a fence around the people we fail to understand in fear that they might infiltrate our lives in an irreversible way we cannot comprehend. Now I know all of us have had moments where we feel like an outcast or that our existence has not been admitted by certain people. Trust me, that is normal. In turn, these moments manifest into a feeling of self-deprecation and worthlessness that affect us in ways that make us hate our weaknesses. Again, this is normal.

Abed teaches us that we can say "Okay" and "Cool, cool, cool" and "I don't care" when we encounter such problems. We can turn our weaknesses into qualities that strengthen our identities as individuals. We can go through phases in our lives without a dependence on this sickening idea that we need to be accepted by everybody in order to be happy. Such a mentality is immature and ridiculous, yes... But it exists in every age group.  

Come on, how many of us have pointed out random people just to pick at their flaws? How many of us have spent hours trying to find a smudge in someone's reputation? How many of us have attempted to badmouth someone behind their backs just for the sake of a wee bit of entertainment? 

It is normal for us (as flawed human beings) to do so... but, it doesn't make it right. 

Well, what started out to be a positive review has somehow escalated into an analysis (read:rant) of our human nature. I suppose I should try to lead this post back into a happy place, which is exactly why I'll leave you guys with the best of Abed's scenes in Season One and Two of Community: 

That Single Blade Of Grass

"if you scratch a cynic, you'll find a disappointed idealist."
                                                                                     - they say

“People are no good.”

Isn’t that what the cynics always say? We try to convince ourselves to expect the best from people and in turn, punish them when they don’t deliver. See, that is where idealism steps in. Perhaps we should all stop and realize that cynics aren’t just pessimistic assholes who rain on everyone’s parades. Perhaps they’re just people who have accepted reality for all it’s ugliness.

Now, I’m not saying it’s a good thing. I’m not even saying it’s something that should exist. But, it wouldn’t be called “acceptance” if the subject in question weren’t something as revolting as hypocrisy or mean-spiritedness. Unfortunately, I have learned that this exists in abundance within the so-called educated society of today. It has always existed and will always exist. Period.

I suppose if it didn’t, the movie “Single, White Female” wouldn’t have been made then, would it? I reference that because Jennifer Jason Leigh actually starts out in the beginning of the movie as someone who likes Bridget Fonda and every single thing about her. Long story short, Jennifer wants to kill Bridget in the end. Yikes. I’m not sure if that’s irony, psychosis, or just good ol’ hypocrisy. I’m willing to guess that it’s probably a combination of all.

Maybe I’m just ranting, but I think it’s important that we all realize how we’re responsible for our own selves. We don’t reserve any right whatsoever to use people in order to satisfy our own selfish needs.

We’re an educated society? Perhaps.

But, we definitely need a lesson in the entire concept of friendship. It appears to become more and more superficial and alien to us all as we progress with each passing day... Which is why I'm overjoyed whenever I find a reason to prove all cynics wrong. To find beauty in the chaos of deterioration. To discover that (not trying to be cheesy here, but...) certain friendships are forever. I hadn’t realized how much I’ve immensely missed my high school friends until I actually spent a far too short hour with them last night. It was as if we had never parted ways… as though we were just spending another day in 5 Beta as per usual.

I suppose things like this show us how a single blade of grass can grow through the cracks of a concrete floor.   

Painted On My Heart

I think I should start off my post this time with a disclaimer: I hate goodbyes.

I was never good at goodbyes. Sure, I’m okay with the days leading up to the actual farewell… I can even give you a reassuring speech and hold it all together. But, when the time finally comes… I forget how to handle it. I forget the pinky-promises of seeing each other again, I forget the “bright side”, I forget the ever-popular phrase: “all good things must come to an end”, I forget that there is always a “tomorrow”… I forget everything and only realize that in that moment, I am crushed. Which is why I feel the need to apologize to any of my KY seniors if they, at any moment, had felt my “goodbyes” to fall short of the grandeur that they definitely deserve. I apologize if I had been (as my lovely chalet-mate would affectionately like to peg me as) an “awkward child”. I am just that rotten at bidding my farewells.

If you’re anything like me, I’m sure you try as you may to ensure that each moment that ultimately culminates into that dreaded “au revoir” is cherished beforehand because of the inevitable cluelessness you’ll experience when faced with the thought of not seeing the people you love for a very long time.

Let’s take a look at the moments that had lead up to the 23^rd of June 2012.

I guess I’ll start with prom because that felt like ages ago! I distinctly remember the hype that had surrounded the entire event… Girls going around begging to get a preview of other girls’ dresses, boys asking where to get corsages (or in some cases, what corsages actually were… hehe), etc…

Everyone looked amazing that night. I don't know if it had been the idea of it being their last KY prom or not, but the seniors had a certain glow about them. A certain beauty in the way they opted to cherish their remaining moments together in one room, just indulging in the glory of their youth. It was almost surreal.

Of course, prom would not be prom without a dance floor. Although (judging from the proms I've been to), I sense a pattern in the music they usually play. Ergo, far too much techno ("clubbing" music?) and not enough songs people can actually dance (not thrash) to. In any case, we still had a good time.

:)

On another more recent note, a pang of regret still accompanies thoughts of this year’s Garnet Farewell Dinner whenever they appear on the surface of my mind. Even though I was ecstatic that everybody had more than enough food that night, I slightly regret being with the buffet table instead of the seniors. Before you go and think I’m a food-obsessed nut, I was under that circumstance only because it was a duty I happily undertook. A duty that required me to ensure everyone’s satisfied epicurean demands and that the food area was spic and span (I cannot stand a messy serving table. In fact, I hate when food and mess are used in the same sentence. I get all OCD and start cleaning frantically).

Our theme had been "time travel" and as you can see from the above picture, Amal and Nadia were "Sixties Children" or "Flower Children" while I attempted (again, I stress on the word 'attempt') to be Sandy Olsen for the night. I think there was a Danny Zuko somewhere in the party...

However, I do believe that the piece de resistance of the entire two semesters we shared with the seniors (specifically our Garnetron seniors) had to be the moment Julian and Zi Chii announced the winning house for this year’s House Cup. It was a long and arduous journey for each and every member of the family, but living out what seemed to be (for the longest time) a dream, one that solidified how we could take on anything as long as we placed our bonds together above everything else, was something that I’ll never forget.

Looking back on the past few weeks, I can't help but ask: do we really cherish the moments we live out? Why is it that we tend to turn around and think "I wish I had done that differently," or "I can't believe we did that". Do we savor each experience, drink in every bit of joy and sorrow, paint every color onto our hearts to ensure that we never miss out on the beauty of life itself? 

I hope so.

Even if we don't, I genuinely hope we start now. 

Life is far too short and far too many people come into our lives and leave, imprinting a mark however big or small onto our seemingly petty existence. So, savor each experience. Appreciate each person around you. Look to the heavens and thank God for giving you one more day to feel the beauty that surrounds you. I say this with all the sincerity in the world as I too am learning and I too am reminding myself of this idealistic sense of living whenever I am able to. 

On a lighter note, I suppose it's prudent to mention that I'll be working for the first time (ever) this week. It's exciting because minus the times I've been paid (in non-currency form) to give massages to the mater and pater, this would be a new "thing" for me. Here's hoping that I'll learn a thing or two about the working world (other than how different people take their coffee). 

Now, with that ladies and gentleman, I end tonight's little rant with a song that I randomly came across while going through my mom's old CDs earlier today. Needless to say, I am obsessed with it at the moment.